Have you ever tried keeping a gratitude journal? I did from October 2020 to April 2023, writing down at least one thing I was grateful for each day. I think I wrote it more diligently when I was going through a difficult time in my career. After I regained stability, it became less frequent, but I continued to write it three or four times a month until March this year.

Every time you focus on something positive, you twist your conceptual system to strengthen the concept of this positive event and make it stand out in your mental model of the world. It’s even better to write down positive experiences. As I’ve said many times before, words facilitate concept development, which then allows you to better predict new moments that nurture the positive aspects of life.

Lisa Barrett Feldman, a world-renowned neuroscientist, says this in her book [[How Emotions Are Made]]. A path will be created if people keep walking on a road that no one has ever been on before. Humans have evolved to focus more easily on negative things, so the path of gratitude may be like a secluded forest path. I think that making that path more accessible and making it easier to experience gratitude can help to flexibly reconstruct one’s self-concept in a rapidly changing world.

The story of Kyung-sook Jeong, former Google Korea executive

I resonate with the story of Former Google Korea executive Kyung-sook Jeongwho appeared on “You Quiz on the Block”. In early 2023, when a wave of layoffs swept through Silicon Valley, Kyung-sook Jeong received a written notice of termination via email one day. She had been working as a director at Google’s Silicon Valley headquarters for four years, and suddenly became unemployed. However, she didn’t get discouraged and tried various role transformations, including a cashier at Trader Joe’s, a barista at Starbucks, and a driver for the ride-sharing service Lyft. She wanted to work directly with customers, and this was part of her “meeting 10,000 people” project. I was curious about the heart behind it, so I did some research and found the following passage in a book she wrote.

I want to tell people who are struggling through a life transition: “Be kinder to yourself. Don’t push yourself too hard, find what you like, and let your energy naturally flow towards new curiosity.” With that in mind, I stack fruit pyramids at the local grocery store, practice making latte with pretty hearts at the coffee shop, and drive, anticipating which customer will come looking for me. I fill my curiosity by meeting new people and cultivate my life transitions. - Source

I think one of the reasons why she was able to adapt flexibly during the transition period is that she maintained kindness to herself and focused her attention on things she liked and found interesting. It’s a vivid example of how, as in Lisa Barrett Feldman’s story, focusing on positive things can help you cultivate the positive aspects of life.

The fluidity and reconstruction of one’s self-concept

It’s already remarkable that she worked in Korea as an executive and then moved to Google headquarters for four years, but it’s even more amazing that she was able to build her own career after being laid off. It would have been difficult to act this way if concepts like honor, power, and wealth were an important part of one’s self-concept. Feldman believes that people experience anguish because they are “obsessed with objectifying themselves” with these concepts.

Buddhism believes that meditation can help you break free from the obsession with your self-concept. Meditation allows you to distance yourself from the concepts that bind you and look at them from a distance. While this is not impossible, it is too difficult for ordinary people. But it is possible to make your self-concept more flexible simply by shifting your focus of attention from negative things to positive things. This allows you to reconstruct your self-concept to fit the changing situation.

The brain forms a worldview based on what we pay attention to. (… ) Gallagher points out that “who you are, what you think, feel, do, and love is the sum total of what you focus on.” - [[Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World]]

As Cal Newport says in Deep Work, it’s no exaggeration to say that the sum total of what you focus your attention on is your self (Self). Kyung-sook Jeong is a case in point of someone who succeeded in reconstructing their self-concept by shifting their focus of attention away from their past glory (executive, Google headquarters director, etc.) and towards things they like or find interesting. This resonates deeply with me.

However, it’s not easy to reconstruct your self-concept so easily. I think it was possible because she had been constructing her identity in various ways, such as through exercise and English study. What can ordinary people like us do?

The effect of a gratitude journal on the reconstruction of one’s self-concept

Finding at least one thing to be grateful for each day has the effect of constantly adjusting your perspective on life. - [[The Elegance of the Notebook]]

Both Lisa Feldman and Cal Newport emphasize that the objects of our attention become our reality. Even in uncertain and bleak situations, keeping a gratitude journal can help you focus more easily on the positive aspects of life, and through this, as your perspective on life is adjusted, you are more likely to develop concepts that can reinterpret negative experiences like losing your job. It’s like creating a fertile foundation on which you can reconstruct your self-concept, like Kyung-sook Jeong.

Conclusion

Keeping a gratitude journal is a powerful tool that anyone can easily use to build a more adaptive self-concept. Through gratitude journals, we can experience changes in our perspective on the world and ourselves. We can focus on small joys, reinterpret suffering with fresh eyes, and use this as a basis to build a flexible self-concept. Gratitude journals will help us to have more adaptive perspectives and self-concepts in a world where change is rapid and uncertainty is prevalent, as it is now.