It was not long after I joined Toss, the company I currently work for.
I was filled with joy at joining Toss, the company I had always dreamed of working for.

But that joy was short-lived. Toss was full of colleagues who exuded incredible talent.
And seeing that...
All my joy turned to fear.

Was I just a bubble?

Could I be recognized among these colleagues? Was my ability actually a bubble?
I weighed my own appearance against the appearance of my colleagues with outstanding abilities.

After that long weighing, I made up my mind to "develop outstanding abilities like my colleagues as soon as possible."

Was it the result of my determination?
Learning about team tasks, new tools, organizational culture, and how to contribute to the team...
My mind was filled with nothing but work.

But in the early days of my joining, I couldn't even properly do the work I was given, let alone develop my skills.
And that gap made me feel anxious and uneasy.

Feedback from the lead

During that time, I had a 1:1 meeting with my team lead.
Despite it being my first meeting with the lead, I honestly shared my feelings of anxiety.

I want to be a recognized colleague at Toss, but I feel lacking.
It seems like my body isn't keeping up with my mind. What should I do?

Instead of giving me an immediate solution, the lead told me a story about the US Naval Academy.

The US Naval Academy's deadly assignments

The US Naval Academy is known for giving students deadly assignments.

The school gives students an overwhelming amount of assignments that they can never finish.
And if they don't do the assignments, they get low grades.
Even if they don't get the minimum grade required to advance, they'll be expelled.

Students can never finish all the assignments.
So what should students do in this situation?

Students give up on the goal of finishing all the assignments.
They classify the assignments that they must absolutely do in order to avoid expulsion.
They prioritize their assignments and complete them in order of priority.

They don't do some assignments in order to avoid expulsion.

Firefighters who don't put out every fire

Following the story of the Naval Academy, our company leader told me his own story.

When I come to work and turn on Slack, there are so many fires waiting for me.
There are countless team members in those fires, and they're all waiting for me to come and solve their problems.

But I can't put out all the fires. I don't have enough time or ability.

So I think about what the biggest fire is that's going to ruin the company, and I focus on that.
I let some fires burn even more intensely.

The courage to leave those burning flames even though they feel like they're burning your skin.
I think that's ability.

Giving up is ability

I listened to both stories and applied them to my current situation.
And I realized that giving up is also ability.

When I first joined, I wanted to be someone with incredible abilities like my colleagues.
I thought the fastest way to gain incredible abilities was to do everything I could.
But I couldn't do everything, like the students at the US Naval Academy.
I was constantly anxious and uneasy.

After my time with the lead, I looked at the countless tasks in my mind.
And I thought about the one thing I needed to do right now to become a colleague with great abilities.

As I solved one problem after another and grew, I've been able to stay at Toss until now.

In conclusion

In my past efforts to achieve my goals, I realized that giving up is also ability.
It takes tremendous courage to let go of the flames of work even when you feel them on your skin.

Do I have that courage? It seems like my time at Toss has given me that courage.