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- Through treating patients, I realized the preciousness of life and experienced the joys and sorrows of life simultaneously, awakening the value of life that I had forgotten.
- As a doctor, I realized that delivering the seeds of life to patients is not simply a medical act, but a precious experience of sharing the meaning and value of life.
- In the face of the reality of death, I have renewed the meaning of a life that has the courage to live and dedicates itself to the values I believe in, and I have become more determined in my responsibility and mission as a doctor.
It felt like I was reflecting on my own heart, not treating patients.
Today, while seeing patients in the outpatient clinic, I realized that I am not just thinking about the patients or their illnesses. I felt like I could be a doctor who could breathe life into them.
The expressions on the faces of the elderly I saw in the consultation room are something I should keep in mind throughout my medical career.
At first, I was bewildered. The consultation room is a place where you tell the results and explain the future progress. In the Hope Clinic (Department of Radiation Oncology) where I was, we also wrestled with patients and listened to music. Perhaps the elderly were also bewildered at first. But it didn't take long for the seeds of life to be transmitted to each other.
Sometimes the professor's words seemed sad and sometimes joyful. It was as if the expressions of the years gone by, the expressions of regretful days, were passing by. Every moment was a new experience.
It felt like I was reflecting on my own heart, not treating patients.
The joys and sorrows of life, which I had forgotten for a while, seemed to come back at the same time. It was a time when I could feel, "Ah, this is life." I thought, "If you don't feel and express it, it's like being more dead than dead."
Ultimately, everyone gets sick and dies. But not everyone can leave seeds of life to others. Death is always with us. That's why it takes courage to dedicate oneself to a greater cause and face death.
The courage to face the truth that is always with us, but we don't want to see. Sometimes we have to give up everything we have built, and sometimes we have to give up ourselves, but those who know what those actions mean have a courage that cannot be hidden. I am grateful for the opportunity to see the value of this courage before embarking on my medical career.
No one can know what is right or wrong, what kind of life was well lived or poorly lived. But the experiences of failure and falling into the abyss for what you believe is right, and the trajectory of life you have lived and the seeds of life you have planted on this earth, cannot be said to be in vain. Perhaps they are more precious than our lives and may be the force that sustains the many lives and wisdom on this earth.
(Radiation Oncology Internship Essay, Medical School Year 4, Group 5, Jo 0rae, 2019.05.28)
