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Seven Wisdoms of Human Relationships from Mozi

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Summarized by durumis AI

  • Mozi was a thinker and engineer during the Warring States period (480-390 BC) who advocated for the principle of "兼愛" (universal love), emphasizing social stability and equality. He also contributed to opposing war and developing technology.
  • He argued that one should avoid arguments, maintain a humble attitude, and not reveal their talents, emphasizing the importance of using cleverness in the right place and being wary of petty people.
  • He also emphasized staying away from flatterers, listening to others' opinions, abandoning arrogance, maintaining humility, and emptying oneself to make room for others.

Mozi

Mozi (墨子), BC 480~390 (90 years old)

He was a thinker and engineer during the Warring States period, and the founder of Mohism.

In his time, it was rare to believe in God as a personal God. He argued that just as God showers us with impartial love, we too should bestow impartial love upon others, so that a chaotic society may be stabilized. In this way, when we deal with people, we should not discriminate, but embrace and cherish everyone. This is "universal love (兼愛)," and this love should actually benefit each other (交相利).

He also asserted that God has the power to reward and punish the Son of Heaven, and the Son of Heaven has the authority to command officials, and officials have the authority to command the people. He affirmed a strict vertical power structure, and said that those who can love others without discrimination should be in those positions. Furthermore, he criticized Confucianism's kinship-centered love, arguing that if we start by cherishing and loving those close to us, then society will be united by blood ties and connections, harming the community. He also saw Confucianism's three-year mourning period and court music rituals as extremely inefficient waste.

His egalitarian love received much support from numerous workers and farmers. He also advocated for the conservation of resources and opposition to war, developing and disseminating defensive arts so that people could not engage in war at will. He was also interested in various practical technologies, inventing various things and understanding the importance of language, undertaking the task of clarifying the meaning of words.

First, do not engage in meaningless debates that trample on the other person's pride.

When a debate begins, both sides tend to become more stubborn about their own perspective than before.

In fact, there is no meaning in debate.

If you lose a debate, you have nothing to say.

On the other hand, what good is it to thoroughly crush the other side?

You may win temporarily, but that feeling of pleasure will not last long.

Moreover, victory in a debate is gained at the cost of trampling on the other person's pride.

Because of the victory gained by undermining the other person's face, you may incur resentment from them and suffer harm.

When debating with someone, you should think about two possible outcomes.

One is a meaningless, superficial victory, and the other is the other person's liking.

You cannot get both at the same time.

Then we should think carefully about what we really want.


Second, open your heart with a humble attitude.

Do not be arrogant, but be humble and willingly accept criticism from others.

Only by correcting your own mistakes and absorbing the strengths of others with an open heart can you further enhance your own strengths.

In fact, this is a virtue that is easy to say but difficult to put into practice.

You should not be arrogant, humility is the most sincere attitude in life.

The world is vast and full of strange things.

Even if one is strong and intelligent, they are just a speck of dust in the universe.

There is always someone who can outdo you.

There will always be someone better than you.


Third, do not excessively reveal your talent.

Wise people hide their light and show their foolishness to people.

Hiding your light and showing your foolishness does not mean showing your low intelligence, but rather protecting yourself, avoiding trouble, and better utilizing your talent.

Seeking exceptionalism and uniqueness is a proactive attitude towards life.

But if you only boast and ignore your surroundings,

You will not be able to get along with others and may cause them to feel disgusted.

Since ancient times, people have said that one's talent should not be revealed to the outside world, but hidden.

If you understand this principle, you will not be subject to the jealousy of small people and will be able to smoothly carry out your work.

A beautiful woman does not need to go out the door to attract many people who want to meet her.

Instead of trying to show yourself off, cultivate your inner strength.


Fourth, wise people know when, where, and whom to choose.

There is a difference between being clever and pretending to be clever.

Clever people bury their cleverness deep down and only use it when necessary, while

Those who pretend to be clever consider it a talent to slander others,

using it from time to time, eventually falling into the traps they have set for themselves.

In fact, cleverness is an asset.

The key is where and how to use this asset.

If you use petty tricks, you are likely to invite disaster.


Fifth, you need the skill to confront and avoid small people.

People are broadly divided into two categories: gentlemen and small people.

Gentlemen are just and fair, but small people are always calculating about others.

Small people are always looking for small gains around them, always wanting to get something for nothing.

They even slander others without restraint,

to the point where their momentum is unstoppable.

Therefore, you should be cautious when dealing with small people and it is better to avoid them than to touch them.

They say you should win the heart of a gentleman, but avoid the hatred of small people.

Because small people can hinder your entire life.

Therefore, never underestimate small people.

Gentlemen should not be friends with small people, but they should know how to deal with and avoid them.


Sixth, do not keep flatterers around you.

People try not to incur the displeasure of others in their families or society.

Therefore, most people try to please others with good words,

and avoid saying unpleasant things that might make others dislike them.

Of course, it is not a bad thing to say good things.

However, the problem is that if you only say things that sound good to your friends, you are not fulfilling your duty as a friend.

In other words, if you know that someone has flaws but keep your mouth shut, you cannot be called a true friend.

If someone praises your flaws, they probably have ulterior motives.

If someone is willing to rebuke and scold you with a sincere heart,

Then that person is your true mentor and friend.


Seventh, you must empty yourself in order to fill yourself with others.

Pride is like an evil instrument that wraps around a person's body and drives away friends who offer advice.

Do not act superior when someone else's opinion differs from yours, but look inward.

Only then can you empty your mind and become more mature.

You can only fill yourself with others when you empty yourself; if you are arrogant, you cannot contain anyone but yourself.

In our daily lives, we unconsciously become like vessels filled with water.

But if you let go of your arrogance and empty your mind, following others and learning,

You will discover many things you didn't know.

There are two types of humility. It is not a big deal to be humble when you are in a low position or lack ability.

To be humble when you have achieved success in business and are praised by others is true humility that earns people's respect.

A spring that produces sweet water is the first to be scooped out and dried up,

And a tall tree is the first to be cut down.

People often ruin themselves because of their strengths.

Don't show off your strengths, but work to improve your weaknesses.

And always be humble.


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